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The Ugly Water Theory
They always give shooters such stupid names, It’s kind of why I try to stick to Tequila and Jager. At least I know what I’m getting. Also, I think what kind of shot/shooter you order changes with your level of drunkenness. I mean, if you’re pretty sober you can get creative enough to ask for a mind bender, and ass bender, or even a fender bender. (I don’t even know if those are shooters, I just pulled that out of my creative ass). But after a few beers/shooters everyone gets stuck on their favorite/easiest to remember shooters/shots. Also you can play stump the bartender by asking for something you just made up. It’s fun to see what they pour into the shaker before they serve it to you; since it is rarely the correct mix even if it was a real shooter. I guess it doesn’t really matter as long as it’s the correct blue, red, yellow, or pink color.
Anyways, we stayed at the first bar for like 2 beers and 2 shooters. I had to finish of the majority of both of Cooper’s drinks since she was driving home after that bar. After that we went to Chichos and the Edge or whatever it was called. I dunno. Before I knew it, it was 6pm and that’s when the very popular 6-9 dollar domestic bottle and dollar well drinks come into play. It seems that all the bars at the block have that same happy hour.
Fast forward to 8:45, I am just about finished w/ my beer and I go up for another one. I notice the time and I decide to play Beerclaus. So I bought 15 beers and sat them down at the table where everyone was sitting. After we all polished those off, I headed home to pass out.
Hurting. That was the theme of Sunday. So I went through my pants and looked to make sure I still had everything. Low and behold my Amex is gone. I knew I left it at that damn bar! But I didn’t even know the name. I found out the name. But then I couldn’t even find the place’s phone number. So I waited till about 5 b/c I figured the place would be open by then. I walk up and I see on the window something about Sunday Pool specials and I’m like great, they are open. Nope. The door was locked, and of course there were no hours posted.
So I went home and decided to call American Express to get a hold put on my account. So I called the 1 800 number that I found on the website. The number is specifically for lost/stolen cards. A machine picks up, and guess what it says? It fucking asks me for my damn credit card number!?!?! What the fuck? How am I supposed to know that shit! I don’t have the fucking card. And of course the stupid website doesn’t list the full number on my account page, just the last four!!!! So fuck those dumb fucks. I figured if it was stolen I wasn’t going to be responsible for the charges, b/c I couldn’t even let them know that I didn’t have the card.
So hopefully they have the card. I got the place’s phone number, but they aren’t even picking up the fucking phone. So I have to ride all the way out there just to see if they have it! This has been a total clusterfuck.
But I did have fun on the crawl.
Old Postcards from VaBeach
I think this one is from the 70's.
This is the Cavalier Beach Club, from 1932
1976 Postcard, notice how this one has the postage stamped of the front.
That's all for now. Maybe I'll be able to find some more later, I thought it was pretty interesting to see how much things have changed, and how they have also stayed the same.
Becky’s Middle School party
Sunday morning. I woke up, my neck and my back hurt like hell, nothing compared to my brain. It’s definitely sunny as Hell out because once I opened my eyes my brain hurt even worse. Well, I knew I wasn’t at home in my bed, or on my couch. Oh yeah, I was in DC, right. But wait, where am I was supposed to stay at Kelly’s house on a futon. This isn’t a futon it’s a couch, err, I mean a love seat as I notice my legs are hanging off the end beginning to tingle with pins and needles.
Shit, I’m at Adam and Dan’s place. I thought I was going to a party, we pre-gamed here before the party, but oh wait, yeah I remember the party, or at least some of it. Yep, now I remember, we rolled in right as some old golden retriever was taking a giant piss in the middle of the living room amongst 20-30 weirdly dressed girls dancing to some REM song or something.
The theme of the party was a Middle School dance party. Definitely one of the more awkward times in mine, and most everyone’s lives. However this time around it was much better thanks to my friend Beer and his bastard cousin After Shock. So I roll around the party and I recognize like 5 people. So I stick to talking to the people I rolled up with, mostly Kelly’s cute friends and the sausages I was pre-gamming with. After a many trips to the Yuengling kegs on the porch I realize there is a basement, they don’t have them in
Some how during the night I ran into at least two of Becky’s friends that new me through Myspace. Yeah, it’s a little awkward; I guess I’m not used to people recognizing me from Myspace. I guess that’s what it feels like to be famous. But then again, I already am, I mean your reading this right now aren’t you?
Well the After shock comes into the story when Lee gets the bottle from me and keeps walking around making people take shots of it. It was then that I knew that I was wrong. I was wrong to have bought something that reminded Lee of how much fun we had back in the day. It was a mistake, I was quite often the target of Lee’s peer pressure that night. Yes, I haven’t learned to master the giant beast that is peer pressure. Peer pressure is a bitch.
This pretty much brings me to the couch. Where I try to find out which rooms are inhabited by Dan or Adam. All doors were locked tight as hell except one person answered my knock. It was Doug or something like that. I don’t think I have ever met Doug before, but he knew me well enough since he informed me that Dan drew a giant cock on my head. However, Dan is such a good hearted fellow he used rubbing alcohol to get it off my face.
So after I finally get home about 4 or 5 o’clock, I sit down on my toilet to drop the Cosby kids off at the pool. And what do I see on my ankle? A big ass hairy cock! I laughed my ass off, it was very unexpected! A few minutes later, after I let the bathroom air out; I got ready to take a shower. As I was taking my pants off, I noticed on my other ankle, written in impeccably clear handwriting, I heart cock! OMG, it was written so well, it looked like it was a tattoo!!
I later found out that
i think i should move to Germany....
Ok, I know I have made a lot of posts today. I just downloaded Google's Picasa2. It's this sweet photo organization thing. Its great for taking out red eye and doing simple photo editing. Also its got this cool thing so that I can put pictures on my blog directly from it. Best of all, its completely free! I love Google.
It made this collage thing of the hot German Beer girls pretty easily. I thought it was friggin neat.
Recipe for Baby Stew:
1. Fill large pot 3/4 with warm water
2. Put baby in pot
3. Drink bottle of bourbon
4. Put baby on stove
5. This is a sick joke, I'm gonna stop here...
While I'm on the subject I might as well decend deeper into hell...
What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls, and a truck full of dead babies?
You can unload the truck of dead babies with a pitch fork
Harlan is a big loser
This is an example of some of the urban running/climbing things. I think its pretty damn cool. I'll post a few more up here soon.
The Best Frozen Margarita EVER!
Ok, my momma knows a lot of shit. She doesn’t know anything about computers or cars. But like any other good woman/mom, she knows about laundry and cooking. However, my mom goes above and beyond the average woman. She knows how to make the ultimate frozen margarita, so that makes her cooler than your mom. Ok so I guess on w/ the recipe.
1 can of limeade (frozen limeade concentrate, like frozen orange juice, but w/ limes)
1.5 shots of Triple Sec
Fill the rest of the blender w/ ice almost to the top
Fill the empty limeade can ¾ the way up w/ Silver Tequila (clear tequila).
Blend that shit.
Drink and have fun.
Some advice on Tequila, Jose Cuervo is the dirtiest, shittiest Tequila ever. Any Sauza brand tequila is the best bang for the buck and its sooo much better than Jose; Jose is Mexican pee and dirty water.
Side Note: I love my mom and she is a wonderful woman. And she is much smarter, and much much more wonderful than I depicted her above.